Perpetual Friday

Each of us will have our own Fridays-those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We will all experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put back together again.                                                    We All Have Our Fridays        

but I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death,

 Sunday Will Come

In the darkness of sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, in this life or the next,

SUNDAY WILL COME.

--Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

I'm thinking my Sunday will be in the next life. At least it will come.

 

 

 

 

 

Stress

Life is full of change. Nothing stands still. It is a great thing that things change but it causes such stress sometimes. How we deal with stress is one of the keys to helping us make it back to God. How do you deal with stress? If I can keep an eternal perspective that makes it so much easier in dealing with any challenge. That reminds me that it is only for a short time that I have to make it through this challenge. Turning to the scriptures is key for me. They help calm my soul and remind me that God loves me.

I found an interesting site http://rowboatandmarbles.org/ maybe it can offer hope.

I'm Back

I've moved back and we are going to counseling weekly. I have to say it wipes me out. Today I have felt totally wasted. Nothing left to give. I feel hollow, like the breath has been knocked out of me. I am reading an interesting book "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse" by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means. It describes how I am feeling lately as post traumatic stress.

I'm driving today and I hear a new song on the radio that really spoke to me today. The Hurt & The Healer by MercyMe.  I love this song. It reminded me that I have my Saviors love. I needed that today.

“Rottenness in his bones”

I found a blog  the red headed hostess that I really like. I go to it for ideas on scripture study. I liked the idea of a topic journal for scripture study, so I made me one. I have to say I am getting a lot of my studies using it. I have added other categories than just the ones she suggests. For instance I did a study on what it means to be a wife. Proverbs 12:4 really hit me as I was studying this topic.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

The second  part really hit me. I know I have made my husband feel less of a man or “ashamed.” So I have contributed to him maybe dying a little inside? How would you interpret “rottenness in his bones?”

I don't want to be guilty of this ever again.

Separated

I moved out. I finally did it. I needed a break from the anger. I made some boundaries and set some conditions to be met if he wanted  us to move back. He has agreed to work on meeting the conditions so we will see. One condition that I really wanted was him to have gone through step 5. A change of heart happens after that step usually.

You know, I don't think they realize what they sound like when they are really mad. The holidays are always worse. I don't know why. Because they are home more? I don't look forward to holidays at all anymore.

I felt at peace with the decision to leave. Maybe this will wake him up that things need to change. I am actually talking to him  more, he keeps calling. So I hope things change. I don't want to be having the same conversations for the next ten years. My family deserves to have peace.

Thank You Dad!

My Dad died today. It was hard watching him die. But I am so grateful for some of the things he taught me. He taught me to love the scriptures. He also taught me that God loved me. Because I knew my Dad loved me, I knew that God loved me. If he taught me nothing else but those two things I would be forever grateful. They have made it so I can make it through life's tough times. Goodbye Dad. I will miss you for a time.

Life Changes

My Dad is dying. I got a call a week ago that he didn't have long to live, so I flew  to my parents home. This new phase of life is another growing experience. The twelve steps have helped me with this too. I don't worry about what I have no control over any more (not much anyway). I'm at peace with whatever God wants to do.

I'm going to give a copy of the 12 step program to my Mom and sisters. If they choose to do any of it, it can help them find some peace. It is amazing how working on something for one area of your life can help in all areas.  Learning to trust God (step 3) is so important in life, I'm beginning to see the bigger picture for me.