Goals

One of my goals for 2011 is to work through the 12 step program for spouses of sex addicts. last year I finished working through them for the first time and it had taken me one and a half years. This time I'm working one step a month. I figure this is something I will need to do for the rest of my life to become who I want to be.

Step 1:  "Accept the truth and reality that we are powerless over our loved ones' addiction, and that as a result of our emotional responses towards their addiction, our own thoughts and behaviours have become unmanageable."

This was hard for a control freak like me to admit. I couldn't change my husband? No, I couldn't change anybody but me, for that matter. I like being in control. So the first part of this step for me is to let go of the feeling I need to fix everything and everybody. That is just too much pressure for one person. Yet I had willingly put it on myself for years. I had really thought I could control what others became. How sad is that? I learned that I was co-dependent.

This step was the beginning of freedom. Just reminding myself, I'm only responsible for my actions, not my husbands, my kids, not one other living soul.