Honesty

Sleep is so overrated I'm lucky if I get 5 hours of continuous sleep. I should just get up when I first wake up because I don't go back to sleep. Think how productive I could be, instead of lying there hoping I'll fall back to sleep. Maybe tomorrow.

Today I'll start on Step 5. I'm still going to do Step Four but I've decided that is going to take a while to go through that book and really get to know myself. Actually, I'm going to make it a personal progress project. It will definitely be over ten hours. I'm sure I can fit it in somewhere.

Step 5 is Honesty. The Key Principle: Admit to Heavenly Father, to ourselves, and to another person experienced in Twelve Step recovery the exact nature of our wrongs.


Last time I did Step 5 I had stayed in Step 4 for months because I didn't want to do Step 5. So I made an appointment with someone to do Step 5 so I had to finish up step 4 and move on. I needed to move on it was time. Talking to another person about my failures etc. was what scared me. Talking to God was not the problem.  I now look back and think I didn't want to admit to myself that I had problems. I wanted only my husband to be the problem. He was the one with honesty issues, right? Obviously  I had some growing up to do. I will say that after Step 5 was done the real healing began. So this is so important. I think really getting honest with yourself about yourself is vital to making any lasting, real changes. Isn't that what we are here on earth for to learn and grow to become more Christlike? We can't do that until we acknowledge our character weaknesses, etc.

So take a deep breath, gird your loins and take that leap of faith.

Am I open to the Holy Spirit?

Today I was reading the new Family Support Guide for step 3. I really like it. There are four action steps for me to work on.

1. Learn to walk by Faith
2. Pray and patiently wait for answers   There is that patient word again.
3. Submit our will
4. Find our part in God's plan

There was a quote by Elder Scott under #2 which really hit me. 

The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride." Ensign Nov. 2009 Talk

Wow, I never thought of that before. How many times have I missed out on the influence of the Holy Spirit because I was angry or swallowed up by fear? No wonder sometimes I felt alone. I wasn't opened up to feeling the spirit. This is something  I will focus on remembering. I think I will make a sign with the quote and hang it up in my house to remind me.