An analogy

I haven't been feeling the greatest the past couple of weeks, so I watched the Lord of the Rings movies again. I like them but don't watch them much because they take so much time. This morning at about 5 an analogy with that movie and addiction came to me, so I will share. In part two: The Two Towers, there is a scene with Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Theoden and Wormtongue. Theoden has been listening to Wormtongue and becomes essentially his puppet. Wormtongue is a puppet of Saruman who is the under Sauron. Sauron we will equate to Satan. Saruman we will equate to the porn producers and Wormtongue is porn. Theoden looses himself in Wormtongue cleaver talk. He doesn't recognize good and bad anymore, he just listens to Wormtongue. He looks awful, feels old and isn't the best king.

Gandalf the White and the gang ride into town to save the day. Gandalf gets rid of Wormtongue and Sauron's influence over Theoden. Theoden sheds his old, awful looks and now recognizes the mistakes he has made. He sees things from a new light. He has light. We will equate Gandalf to Christ.

As long as Theoden let Wormtongue influence him, he was ineffectual as a king and a man. His people would have been destroyed. Once he was "saved" by Gandalf he once again had hope and could start being the king he was meant to be.

So with our porn addict husbands. When they are under the influence of porn they don't think right. They think they do, but they just don't. Unless they turn to Christ for help they won't be saved. They will be lonely lost creatures who are pathetic to behold. For:

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Matt. 6:24

So if they are loving porn they are hating God, the one that can help them get this evil spirit out of their heart. They can only overcome porn by coming to the Savior. I'm praying for this miracle now. It will be a miracle.  I hope this is clearer than mud. Just something on my mind.

Worthy Of His Love

I've been out of town for a couple of weeks, which has given me time to think. It came to my attention how dependent I was on my husbands happiness for my own. Not a healthy place to be. Granted it is better now than in the past, but still room for improvement. That co-dependent part of me that seems to be hard to let go. Maybe I had put him as the center of my life instead of God. Big mistake. This is something I'm going to be working on this month.

I listened to a song last night from a recovery cd my husband has. I really liked the words to the song for step 12 Worthy of Love. Link You can go here to listen to the song. Sometimes we forget we are worthy of our Heavenly Fathers love, no matter what.

Joining Forces--Hopefully

The other day I was reading Alma 52. In this chapter Teancum was fortifying his weak areas while waiting for Lehi and Moroni to come give him the support he needed against the Lamanites. It got me thinking that I need to strengthen my weak areas. I also had the feeling that my husband and I needed to work together with other support people to fight this war against Satan. So I told my husband my feelings and he has moved back in the room. Hopefully he will work with me instead of against me and we can beat our common enemy. This is another example of trusting God.

Peace

Wow, I didn't realize how long it has been since I had written. My husband moved out of our room and issued a challenge to me etc. So I have been focusing of things other than the blog. I have to say I have slept much better since he moved out. I don't know how much of it is because he isn't in our room, or because I am learning to trust God on a whole new level.

My new favorite scripture is Alma 37:37:

Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for ^bgood; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the ^cmorning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

I read this every night before I go to bed and think about it every morning. I  like the word counsel. That isn't telling God what to do but asking for advise then taking it, because he directs me for my good. Every night I tell him he can have my worries and I go to sleep. I haven't slept this good for probably ten years or so. This past month, I have really gotten to know God loves me. That has made it easier to trust him I think. I know that he will be with me no matter what happens. I know that what needs to happen will happen. I am now more dependent on him than ever. I am listening better to the spirit. I feel at peace. Who knew that by having you life turned upside down that you can find real peace. But I do and I feel calm. God loves me, what more do I need?

Great Book of Hope

I read a good book this past weekend, that I highly recommend. "When Times Are Tough: Five Scriptures That Will  Help You Get Through Almost Anything" by John Bytheway.
It has five different topics each with five different scriptures. The five chapters I guess they were are:

1. Five Scriptures That Will Help Me Get Through Almost Anything.
2. Five Scriptures That Wills Strengthen My Marriage.
3. Five Scriptures That Will Improve My Family Relationships. 
4. Five Scriptures That Strengthen My Faith.
5. Five Scriptures To Motivate Me To Action.

I think anybody would benefit from this book, not just those who are struggling with something. I like how he uses the scriptures to relate to the topics in ways that I hadn't thought of before. I will quote some of the quotes I liked from the book.

"How can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, 'Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow,  not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art.' Then, let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!"  Elder Neal A. Maxwell Ensign May 1991

This next one is paraphrased by Elder Packer and I didn't write the reference down. I don't have the book so I can't look it up.

Compare the Plan of Salvation to a 3-act play. Act One, premortal existence. Act Two is this life and is characterized by tests, trials, temptations and tragedies. Nowhere does the phrase 'Happily Ever After' appear in Act Two. That is for Act Three.

When trouble comes, the parties to a contractual marriage seeks happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they're receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community and to God. Contract companions each give 50%, covenant companions each give 100%.  Elder Bruce C. Hafen Ensign Nov. 1996

 By Bruce R. McConkie:

Faith is a gift of God bestowed as a reward for personal righteousness. It is always given when righteousness is present, and the greater the measure of obedience to Gods laws the greater will be the endowment of faith.

 Elder Jeffery R. Holland

...I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when He finds that His people do not feel confident in His care or secure in His hands or trust in His commandments.

 

Robert Louis Stevenson

You cannot run away from weakness.You must sometime fight it out or perish, and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?

I think I'm going to need to buy another copy. I great book to give hope and practical advice.

 

Step 4 Revisited

It has been a very tough past couple of weeks. The good thing though, is that it has really got me working again on Step 4. I'm going through that Al-Anon workbook I bought. It is really making me think about my life and stretching my brain so to speak. I finally called my Mom and told her about my husbands addiction and ask her questions about my childhood. It will be interesting to see how things play out at the family reunion this summer.

I am so grateful for the gospel and scriptures. I don't know how I would get through this life without them. I also went and got a blessing from my Bishop. So glad for a worthy Priesthood leader. Well the test continues.

Have a great day!

Off Track

Okay, the past couple of weeks have been crazy and I got off track with my schedule. I have found that without doing my necessities in the morning my ability to handle stressful situations has been sadly lacking. What are my necessities?

• Scripture Study/Pondering
• Meaningful Prayer
• 12 Step Work
• Reading Something uplifting. 

I have learned this past week, that life can really, really suck without doing that. I need God's word forefront in my mind to keep me sane and stop my mouth from saying things I would later regret. It is also easier for Satan to encourage my "stinkin thinkin" from consuming my brain. So today in my scripture study I came to this verse Alma 37:37, my new favorite scripture.

Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou  liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

Life has a way of humbling you and the past 7 days has certainly reinforced in me, my need to "counsel with the Lord" in everything. With God I can handle life, without him I can't.