The last things to talk about on Step Four is negative emotions. This is where we acknowledge all of our negative emotions (fear, anger, rage, hopelessness, worry, shame, frustration, worthlessness, inadequacy etc.). Write them down. Once we accept that they have become a part of us we can work on releasing them. We don't need them. We don't want them anymore. We are not going to blame them on anyone, that doesn't do us any good. We are just going to acknowledge that we have let these emotions become part of our life. We find out where we let those feelings sneak in and how we fed them so they stayed. We learn from them, face them, then willingly let them go. This is a hard one. These feelings can keep coming back. Each time though it will be easier to recognize and deal with them faster instead of letting them fester and make us into who we don't want to be anymore. Here are the questions to help us.
- Define any fears that control my life.
- Who or what do I feel anger or resentment towards?
- As I work on this inventory have I recognized that my negative emotions do not disappear even if others change or ask for my forgiveness?
- How do fear and anger continue to poison and consume me?
- What am I willing to do to change this pattern in my life?
- What can I do to release these emotions and let them go?
All of Step Four can take time. Don't rush through it. Really go through the questions and discover yourself. I think this is a never ending process. We may not like all we find about ourselves but we can work on becoming who we really want to be. That is exciting.
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