Self-Responsibility

They say every time you do a Step Four you peel back a layer about yourself, like an onion. I think that is true. I'm in a different place mentally this time doing this step, so I am seeing things in a different light. I expect that next time I'll see things differently too. I'm working on the questions found in Elder Porters talk I talked about before ( Here ). I'm finding I can't rush through them. I want to really think about them. Writing down my thoughts about it though is helpful. They are even good questions to randomly ask your kids. I asked my daughter one on a walk with the dog. I want her to get to know herself now and keep figuring out who she is along the path of life and not wait until she is old.

I was reading today in Step Four of "Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps" by Melody Beattie and    I liked what she said:

We take this Step to get to the core of recovery: self-responsibility.

We are responsible for ourselves-our circumstances and whether we choose to remain in them and our attitude toward these circumstances. We are responsible for what we have created in our lives and what we will create. We are responsible for our feelings. They are ours.

...Honestly facing ourselves and taking responsibility for ourselves is where our true power lies. 

We take this Step to enable ourselves to take responsibility for ourselves within the framework of reality. A by-product of looking within is that we master the lesson of our present circumstances, so we avoid a repeat performance. And we become healed enough to enjoy life and love. 

I really believe that. When we accept responsibility for our choices and how they have contributed to our problems we can start changing and healing. We stop taking the focus off of things we have no control over and focus on what we do have control of. This is easier to do this time around.