Escape Into Myself

Back to working Step Four. Melody Beattie in "Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps" says that in Step Four we get to "learn how to love ourselves. Then we can learn how to love other people and let them love us." I like that. This addiction really takes a toll on our self esteem and makes me feel unloved and unlovable a lot of the time. Working through this helps me to remember I am a daughter of God. I have to remind myself not to judge my past by what I know now. I am a different person now and would have been different in the past if I knew then, what I know now.

Study Step for today: Searching Inward

The discovery of self is a profoundly spiritual experience, one that is possible for anyone willing to learn. It comes neither in a mystical, magical manner nor by casual effort, but it is made possible only through practical, concrete means. Link

Thought questions

•  What insights can I gain by reading Elder Porter's entire talk?
• What are some specific ways that I can apply these insights in order to gain self-understanding through doing Step Four inventories?

I really enjoyed the talk. He talked about some means whereby we can get to know our selves.

1. Diaries and Journals
2. Self-questioning-- he listed some good questions to start with such as: "If  I were another person, would I enjoy being around myself? Am i cheerful, patient, radiant, kind?"
3. The Franklin Method. He referred to Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography, which is really good. How Franklin decided to work on 12 virtues then he added a 13th later. He would write down at the end of the day were he messed up. He found that he needed to write a plan to succeed. Thinking about it just didn't work. I like this idea. I think  this is something I will work on with the others.
4. Faith in Jesus Christ. "No amount of inward searching will avail an individual much without an active faith in the living Savior. ...Man simply cannot perfect himself, by himself."

The talk definitely gave me something to think about and work on. Parting thought:

The housewife who feels that her life is in a small box wedged between an oven, washer, and three peppy children may seek escape in television viewing or at a swimming pool, social club, or theater. The businessman, teacher, or scientist may get a “wedged-in” feeling and seek escape in the mountains or on the golf course.

A certain amount of such escape is necessary for everyone, but wouldn’t it be better sometimes if we escaped into ourselves? A quiet hour of self-examination, goal-setting, and meditation on the eternal purpose of life can be far more therapeutic than the back nine.