When I found out about my husband viewing pornography, I would say my self-esteem, plummeted to almost zero. This addiction is hard to not take personal. I still fight with that as you will see when I write "my story." (I'm working on this, it will be up this week.) However, a healthy self-esteem is something we need to help us heal and to help others.
So how do I work on it? This has been hard for me especially since I haven't received much positive anything from my spouse. The place I have found the most help is from God. In my prayers, which seem anymore to be almost constant, from my scripture study and positive readings that I have to fill my head with. My daughter in college found a quote she emailed me and I typed it up and have it hanging on my mirror in the bathroom. I read it daily and it reminds me that it is okay to work on me. So I thought I would share.
"Since self-esteem controls ultimately our ability to love God, to love others, and to love life, nothing is more central than our need to build justifiable self-esteem. Self Contempt is of Satan; there is none of it in heaven." --Neal A. Maxwell
I read this and it reminds me not to let Satan win another battle in my life. I know he wants me to be negative and not like myself. What good am I to anybody when I'm like that? I've lived like that for far too long and I'm not going to any longer. Sure I will have moments, okay days, where I will feel like I've been run over by the bulldozer of negativity. But I will no longer stay there. I will fight back to keep my thoughts above ground. I realize now this is war. A literal war I feel Satan is waging within my family. I will not let him win!
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