"Love Believes the Best"

Yesterday was good. I didn't get irritable. I made my husband oatmeal raisin cookies that he loves. Pulled up the carpet in my craft room. Good day, although he had to sleep on the couch again. Up working too late.

Day 7: Love Believes the Best

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

The first time I did this the negative list was long. It took me a while to come up with things for the positive list. That is because I was hurt and I had been dwelling on his negative traits all the time. I forgot to look at his positive traits. So I went back to  my journal and read about when we were dating before I got married. I needed to be reminded about why  I married this man in the first place. I noticed that when I focused on his faults, mine didn't seem worth thinking about. I was miserable and stuck in a dark place. So I decided to start focusing on his positive qualities of which there are a ton and work on my negative qualities. It makes it a lot easier to be nice to someone when you know they have good in them. They are more than their addiction.

When my daughter was getting married I had her write a list of everything she loved about her future husband. I told her there would come a time when she would wonder why she ever married him. That was when she needed to get the list out and read it over and over. I know Satan uses our negative thinking about each other to ruin the family.  It is hard to work on a marriage when you think your partner has no redeeming qualities. You want to give up. This I know.

This time it was easier to write the positive list. It is over twice as long as the negative list. A year ago I wouldn't have thought this is possible. Yea, I'm making progress.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phillippians 4:8