Love Promotes Intimacy

Yesterday was a  nice day. I didn't have to make dinner, so that is always nice. My husband BBQ steaks, grilled veges and portabello mushrooms also sauted asparagus in garlic, with baked potatoes and potato butter. It was delicious. He is an amazing cook. The entire family loved it.

Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy

Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

This is the interesting thing about pornography. The addiction feeds on secrecy. They lie about it. They withdraw from people. They are pretty much loners when they are deep into the addiction. So it is good for them to share their "secret" with somebody. I haven't told my family because I don't think they would understand and still love. Maybe they would, but they have made comments in the past about men who view pornography that leads me to this conclusion. So I feel it isn't safe to share with them. So this secret is a family secret. Not really healthy. But I keep it to protect my family. It stinks though, because then you feel isolated and alone in this mess. That is one reason why I love the support group for women. We can all relate to one another and not feel so alone. This helps me in loving my spouse in spite of his addiction.

I hope that my loving my husband unconditionally will one day provide that emotional intimacy that I want in my marriage. That he will trust that I really love him, then one day he will love me.

This leads to the 11th C of Emotional and Spiritual Healing:
           11. I can seek healing (recovery) and guidance from the Lord for myself and follow His plan for me.


The key for me on this step is to seek guidance. The listening for Heavenly Father to talk to me has always been hard. I have a hard time to stop and listen. It has been getting better. Since I have been devoting more of my day to the Lord, I've been given more insights and promptings. This time I am listening and then acting on them. I have found the more I do what I feel I'm supposed to, the more I keep getting prompted. This reminds me of the time my oldest son was young around eight or so he had a question and I told him to pray and ask Heavenly Father, but to make sure he stopped and listened. So he started praying and he asked his question then paused for a minute and he got an answer and then he listened some more and God kept talking to him. He finally asked me how he could turn God off. But I don't want to turn him off. He is leading me on this journey of healing.