Boundaries

I haven't been very good about setting boundaries with my husband or my oldest son for that matter. I'm not sure why. Probably fear, shame and guilt. But I am getting better at this as I feel better about myself. I told my son if he didn't follow the standards of our family he had to move out. Yesterday we helped him move out to his own apartment. Also a couple of weeks ago I told my husband that if he wasn't home by midnight he must sleep on the couch. I had to change it to in the bedroom by midnight. This boundary has helped me a lot. I sleep better. Whether he is on the couch or in bed. I don't wonder when he will come and be woken up should I be asleep when he come. I pray for him and go to bed. One thing I have found out about boundaries is that you need to be willing to do them. You can't set them and then not do them. Especially with kids, they will take advantage of you really quickly. So this leads to the next C of Emotional and Spiritual Healing.


     9. I can establish healthy emotional and physical boundaries for myself and my loved ones.


Love Dare


Yesterday was a good day. I spent the afternoon with my husband moving our son and having dinner and a movie. Which was what he wanted to do veg.


Day 15: Love is Honorable

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way  you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Honor is to hold in high estimation, to respect and treat with the highest veneration in words and actions. So this is a good day for me to pay attention to how I treat my husband. Does he feel special and respected around me? Does he feel loved? If we love someone we treat them with honor whether they accept it or not. I like the last paragraph of this section in "The Love Dare" pg. 73

But when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That's what love dares to do--say, "Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults--past and present--I still choose to love and honor  you." That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your  heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor.

I'm reading still in "He Restoreth My Soul" chapter 6 It Is A Drug! Very interesting I'll write more on that later when I'm done, but I thought the opening quote was interesting so I will share it here.

With advent of the computer, the delivery system for this addictive stimulus has become nearly resistance-free. It is as though we have devised a form of heroin 100 times more powerful than before, usable in the privacy of one's own home and injected directly to the brain through the eyes. It's now available in unlimited supply via a self-replicating distribution network, glorified as art and protected by the Constitution.