Happily Ever After

Yesterday while I was driving to the temple I had an overwhelming peace come over me. I knew I could be happy and that I would be okay, no matter what my husband did, didn't do, believed or didn't believe. I know me, what I think feel, did or didn't do or believe. His beliefs are his problem. It felt so good. If I can keep that feeling it would be easy. But life isn't easy so I will try to keep that experience for when I need it in the future.

The quote today from Step Three:

"We all search for happiness, and we all try to find our own 'happily ever after.' The truth is, God knows how to get there! And He has created a map for you; He knows the way. He is your beloved Heavenly Father, who seeks your good, your happiness....All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan."  President Dieter F. Uchtdort

There is again, trust in God. Why do we have such a hard time trusting God. He is perfect, we aren't. Wouldn't it make sense to trust someone who doesn't make mistakes? But we don't at first. We have to keep falling on our faces before we admit that maybe we don't know what we are doing. Then we wonder why our kids don't listen to us and learn from our mistakes. We make our life harder than it needs to be by insisting that we do things our way first.

I finished a book today The Lessons of Love by Melody Beattie it was an interesting book. A quick read. It was about how she had a big loss her son died and how she almost died of a broken heart and how she rediscovered her  passion for life again. Realizing that all the hard times were teaching her about love. I related to it on the level of mourning for a marriage I wanted that won't get. Wanting to die because I felt life was just to hard and was pointless. But then realizing it wasn't just about me. My kids needed me. I needed to find me. To learn to find joy and love. I'm still a work in progress, but I am not in the dark place I used to be. I'm working on my 'happily ever after.'